Friday, April 3, 2015

Thank you



Thank you to all of you, so very many wonderful peeps and furries, who paid honor to Phantom by your touching comments and private emails and posts.  I promise I will respond to all the emails as soon as I can.  I will do a proper tribute to him next week when I have time to process what just happened.  It is a very busy  time here with the Easter holiday and I want to do things the right way for him.  I do want to give special thanks to Ann of Zoolatry for the beautiful Forever Phantom badge in yesterday's post and for the collage below.  Ann is ALWAYS there when her wonderful talents are needed.  She also found time to modify the new header she made for us to include the special heart for Phantom.   She is one very special friend - everyone should be so lucky to have that kind of caring friend.






I know many of you are wondering what happened to bring things to such a sudden end.  Phantom has been struggling for a long time. He was my miracle dog because he never should have survived the massive surgery he had on his chest back in 2009.  That was the start of his cancer woes.  But he was a trouper and kept on going.  

Yesterday's earlier post was a bit of an intentional precursor to what was to come. Both Phantom and I did a lot of "just thinking" all day. Some decisions are just so tough.  

Over the past few weeks, I noticed a marked decline in his level of activity and overall mobility.  But those eyes were still sparkling, he was still eating "Phantom-style", his tail, well, it wagged the best it could, and he still wanted to go for his very short walk - we knew we were walking a fine line as to knowing what was best for Phantom.  On Wednesday his back end was caving quite a bit if he stood still for any more than a few minutes.  He had been suffering from proprioceptive deficiency for a while now.  The vet explained to me that this was why he dragged his back legs.  He really wasn't always sure where his feet were and if he was placing them correctly.  The vet checked him over thoroughly when he made his twice a week tail bandage change.  Nothing new or notable was obvious on Wednesday morning when Dr. B. checked him over.  Wednesday night a lot changed. Once he was lying down, he could not get his back legs up without help.  His right leg seemed to be very stiff and basically useless.  Our wonderful vet Dr. B. was not in on Thursday or Friday of this week, but another one that I have a lot of confidence in was going to see him Thursday morning.  Well, Phantom was always the one to do things his own way - Thursday morning he was able to get himself up and moving.  But by noon I noticed that his right leg had some swelling near the lower part.  I talked to the vet again and we agreed to give him the day and have him checked out on Friday.  I was pretty sure the time had come, but I had the grandkids all day Thursday and I really didn't want to have them see me leave with Phantom and then return in the condition I knew I would be in.  They all knew that Phantom's days were numbered, but I wanted to protect them. Thursday night Phantom went to his crate after dinner.  He had been limping more and the swelling had progressed.  About 15 minutes later I could hear him struggling to get up.  We use the Varikennel style crates so I could not get at him easily to help raise him.  While my husband and I rushed to unscrew and remove the top of the crate, he began to cry.  Phantom was so stoic, he never complained or cried, so hearing his moans told me he was in deep pain.  I called the vet - who fortunately was open until 8:00 and rushed him over.  

I can't say enough about my vet clinic staff. Four staff members were on the sidewalk as I pulled in so they could help me.  Everyone wanted to be a part of his care.  They carried him inside and examined him.  Without doing any x-rays, she was pretty confident that his leg had multiple breaks in the bones.  How?  We will never know for sure. He did not fall.  He did not have any sort of accident.  The vet's guess is that he may have put pressure on the leg with his paw turned under, not realizing what he was doing with his leg,.  At 16 and four months, his bones were probably pretty brittle. The other option is that he had bone cancer in his leg. That wouldn't be a surprise given the many tumors he had.  In the end, the what and why and how don't matter.  I vowed a long time ago that Phantom would not suffer if I could help it.  The only thing to do was to give him his freedom.  I knew it was coming for a long time, but that doesn't make it any easier, as most of you know from your own experience.  The vet made the whole process very easy, and Phantom, true to his quiet and brave and gentle nature, just went to sleep quietly, calmly, and peacefully.  In many ways I do feel relief, but the heart aches tremendously. It has been broken too many times with the passing of my beloved Dakota, Thunder, and now Phantom.  Time heals a broken heart, but how I wish it didn't have to break. 

I don't know how you all feel about what happens when your beloved pet is gone.  But I do believe Phantom sent me that "sign" this morning that all is well.  I was out doing my shopping for Easter dinner and had one item, Sunny D strawberry orange drink, that the grandkids all love.  The store I had gone to did not have any.  I was really pressed for time, but I decided to make one more try at another store.  I almost burst into tears as I walked into the store and heard the song they were playing over the speakers:  "Wind Beneath My Wings".  For some reason I have always associated that song with Phantom - he truly was my hero in so many ways.  I believe he may have had something to do with my stopping at this store today.

Please give all your furries a hug and tell them how much they are loved.



Kathie

73 comments:

Brian said...

We sure have been thinking about you all day. All our love to you.

Madi and Mom said...

Kathie...my goodness my goodness I'm nearly speechless. Your post is beautiful and oh the love is flowing in each word. Each pet is special in his/her own way. You love them all the same; however, something is different. I do believe Phantom had been with you so long you were soul mates.
I do so agree about the 'Wind beneath my Wings' being Phantom's song and you were meant to hear it. I DO BELIEVE in SIGNS!! He surely lifted all of blogville up with his courage and gentle soul. Good Friday is a fitting time for Phantom to make his final trip across the bridge.
With love Cecilia and Madi

Madi and Mom said...

I meant to say how beautiful the new header is and Phantom's button the star is perfect and the photo she selected with those eyes...as bright as the star
C&M

Molly The Wally said...

As you well have guessed we read this with leaky eyes. What a lovely song to associate with your dear boy. After Ancient Pip's passing mine was Let's Go Fly A Kite from Mary Poppins. Why lordy knows but it kind of summed up things. Thinking of you and like us we pray we timed it just right and we know like you we did. Letting go is the kindest but hardest thing.
Best wishes Molly
Hugs from across the pond.

stellaroselong said...

Kathie thank you for sharing these words with us today, of course my eyes are full of tears, but of course we are each others family so why wouldn't they be. You were the best mom to phantom always trying to find out a better way for him to feel better. I always believe in signs also, and I believe if we are open to them, the ones we lose, two and four legged always lets us know when we need that extra boost ....I say this all the time, cos I read it somewhere, and it sticks in my mind, "with great love comes great grief." We all let go in our own way, and I am sure phantom is celebrating his way right across the bridge. Hugs tight from all of us...Stella Rose, Momma, Gussie and Mags...

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

It is heartbreaking when the time comes. Thanks you for explaining what happened. We did wonder. Love to all of you.

Casey said...

Phantom was one heck of a dog. You did all you could, and made the choice you had to for HIS sake in the end. Hugs and boxer kisses to you and your remaining Woos.

Cupcake said...

It's a funny thing, falling in love with a dog I've never met but I love Phantom. You always do such a good job letting us know about their personalities and the special qualities they have. Of course, the beautiful pictures and those eyes. He will be missed very much. I'm so sorry your heart is broken again. Thank you for being such a great Mom to Phantom.

Frankie Furter and Ernie said...

Dear Kathie,
I know that you wrote this especially for US... to help US come to grips with the loss of our dear Phantom. It was beautiful and it DOES help. I hope that it does the same for YOU... I also believe in Signs and am SURE that you were SENT to that store at JUST the RIGHT MOMENT...
The HEART on the header is just right. Ann has such good taste and is SUCH a fabulous friend.
I wish that we could have had many more years with Phantom... but know that he appreciates the PURE Love that you showed him... you allowed him to Stay as long as he could.. and then gave him the release that he deserved.
BLESS YOU for that Last Proof of your LOVE for Phantom.

NanĂ¼k said...

wooo, with respect,

Nuk, Isis an Timber

CheerfulMonk said...

I'm crying as I write this. I'm so glad you heard that song, and that Phantom is at peace now, even though he leaves a hole in our hearts.

The Army of Four said...

Kathie, I am so sorry! I know you made the right decision - the love-filled decision - for Phantom. What a precious, special boy. He reminds me so very much of Davy - that sweet face, those deep blue eyes. He is whole now, strong, and pain-free. Thank you for letting us all get to know him a little bit. I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. I know it's not easy.
HUGS!
KZK

www.shelter-cats.com said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I saw Ann's email this morning with the beautiful blue eyed Phantom and I've come to pay my respects.
Having lost my beloved cat Tommie a month ago, I now realize how comforting the support and sympathy of the pet blogging community can be.
May sweet memories of young and healthy Phantom bring you peace.
Maggie

Mitch and Molly said...

The tears are just rolling down our cheeks. We wish we could take away your hurt, Miss Kathie♥ (((hugs)))

Love ya lots♥
Mitch and Molly

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Bibi-Chan, Gen-Chan, Vidock, Violette said...

Thank you, Kathie, for taking the time to share this with us. We all had so much admiration for Phantom and, from this faraway land, loved him. He was a lucky boy to have lived his life by your side, and what a wonderful life it was. Any and all dogs would wish for it with all their hearts.

Everyone at The Poupounette

Charliedownunder said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Huuuuuuuuuugs!!
Thanks for letting us know. We did wonder.
We loved Phantom too ...

Chef Sasha said...

I wasn't on yesterday and just saw this. Angel Phantom you will be so missed. You were in my heart. I know there is no more pain and you are running free with Angel Dakota and Angel Thunder. I am so sorry and I will miss your beautiful face and those eyes.

Anne and Sasha

BeadedTail said...

The tears are flowing once again and I'm positive that song was a sign from Phantom. He was loved here and around the world as if he was a member of our families too. I understand the heartbreak all too well but it can never take away the wonderful memories of Phantom. My thoughts are with you.

Hugs and purrs,
Sharla, Angel & Isabella

Jed and Abby in MerryLand said...

We're so sorry for your pain. It does hurt so much when we lose someone so very dear. But we're so happy that you had all those wonderful, love-filled years with such a truly fine gentleman. The only comforts are the many, many good memories and the sure knowledge we will be reunited in time with those we love so much. Hugs to Ciara & Lightning, who will mourn in their way as much as you will. And hugs to you and the rest of the 2-leggers, too.

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

We know it so hard to lose such a very special boy but thank you too for not letting him suffer. It was his time and we will miss his beautiful blue eyes so very much.

FiveSibesMom said...

Oh Kathie, tears are streaming as I read this. Please know I am sending hugs your way...he was so brave and an inspirational to all. I know that he did indeed let you know it was his time to go...16 years and 4 months...he stayed for as long as he could...a testimony to his love and determination. It is the time we all know eventually comes, but is so dreaded. My heart breaks for your loss, but knows he is now where he needs to be, and is now pain and cancer free. His loving parting gift...sending you his song. xox

FiveSibesMom said...

PS - His collage and remembrance Ann did are truly beautiful, as Phantom was. She did a lovely job.

Dachshund Nola said...

Oh my god. :,( I'm so, so sorry. Run free, sweet Phantom.

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh no, we are so sorry to hear about Phantom. Run free sweetheart. Hugs to you
Lily & Edward

Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...

We are so very sorry to hear about Phantom. We knew his days were numbered because of the cancer, but he was such a trooper and fought so valiantly to stay with the family he loved. ((Hugs)) and love to all of you as we know he will be greatly missed by his pack.

Purrs of sympathy and paws of comfort.

dw said...

I am so sorry about Phantom. Losing a furkid is never easy, but I think he did send you a sign, that all is well, that you done good by him, that he'll be waiting for you and watching over you in the meantime. *hugs*

Karen and Riley

KB Bear said...

You and Phantom had been together for so long and had gone through so much together. Your words ooze the love that you feel for him. I understand the conflicted feelings of relief that the pain is over but heartbreak that he is gone. That is a sign of just how much you loved him.

The collage is gorgeous, and I adore seeing the photos of from Phantom's earlier years.

Thank you for writing these words. It is so true that, even when you know that it's going to happen soon, saying goodbye to a dog as loved as Phantom is completely heart-breaking. Please know that I, and many others from Blogville, are thinking of you and wishing you peace.

Tweedles -- that's me said...

We know how broken and torn you are feeling right now. And all the words you wrote must have been drenched in tears.,

We loved Phantom..and we love all of you..
So many tears are keeping us from seeing and writing- right now..
We send love and we gather around you.
love
tweedles and moms

Amber DaWeenie said...

Phantom has been on my mind all day today. I know how much your heart is hurting as we went through the very same thing exactly one month ago today. Bailey was just about the same age as Phantom. The hole in our hearts is always there. Keep all the wonderful memories safe in your heart because they'll help you through the hard times ahead.

Hugs

Millie and Walter said...

Thank you for sharing Phantom with all of us over the years. We all know how difficult that final decision is to make but you know you did what was best for him.

Jeanne Pursell said...

Dear Kathie, we are stopping by to let you know how much we have been thinking of you and Phantom. He was such a sweet boy and it is so very hard to let go. I believe in signs and I do agree that Phantom led you to that store today to hear "your" song. May Phantom rest in peace now and run with the angels. My Big Guy will be there guiding him. Through my tears, I am sending love and hugs to you all.
Jeanne, Chloe and LadyBug

Jeanne Pursell said...

Dear Kathie, we are stopping by to let you know how much we have been thinking of you and Phantom. He was such a sweet boy and it is so very hard to let go. I believe in signs and I do agree that Phantom led you to that store today to hear "your" song. May Phantom rest in peace now and run with the angels. My Big Guy will be there guiding him. Through my tears, I am sending love and hugs to you all.
Jeanne, Chloe and LadyBug

Katz Tales said...

Oh Kathie, so sorry to hear this! Phantom had such a good life with you. What can we say? He had a blast and was loved. Everyone should be that blessed. We send our best purrs.

Idaho PugRanch said...

Thank you for this post - I know how hard it must have been to write. You gave Phantom the best life and in the end did the most loving thing for him - to let him go. And yes we think Phantom wanted you to hear that song.
love and hugs
Mr Bailey, Hazel, Mabel & Mom

Piappies World said...

Kathie, We thank you for sharing with us Phantom through the posts that you do. The Chronicles of Woos is one of our first friends here and we will always be here for you. We are sure that Ciara and Lightning will miss him too. It is always hard to go through these times and we send you our hugs and prayers. We feel the love that you have for each other and we will always have Phantom in our thoughts.

The collage is really beautiful, just the way we will always remember him.

Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Max, Wai-Pai & Forgie

Teddy Westlife said...

Oh Kathy, I'm so very sorry. Hugs to you all.

Tracey and Teddy

Melon said...

Thank you for posting again when I bet it is the last thing you want to do. I am sorry for not emailing you personally but I hadn't heard from you in a while, not over Christmas either, and I don't know, just wasn't sure about it. I will email you soon. Thank you for sharing that heart wrenching story, I find it easier to come to terms with knowing what happened. I really feel for you having to go through that. (And for dear Phantom too... How lucky he is you were there to give him what he needed.)
Bless you, Kathie.

Melon said...

Also, that collage makes me smile - really! How could one just not smile seeing happy Phantom. <3 :)
Melon

The Horde and their momma said...

Our hearts go out to you. Phantom was well loved and will be deeply missed. While saying goodbye is never easy, you now have another guardian angel watching over you. RIP dear sweet Phantom - wear your silver harness with pride.

Wild Dingo said...

Kathie, I'm so, so sorry. My heart is breaking. I loved Phantom for his spirit. You were an amazing mom to him. I will miss him more than words can express.

Love to you and the fur kids,
Love, julie, Loki and Juno

Siku Marie, White Dog said...

Soft woos of loss and sadness. Gentle nuzzles of understanding and love. Your brave Warrior with the gentle heart was one of our first blog friends and he will never be forgotten. We ask the Universe to grant you the peace of deep wonderful memories of lives shared in total devotion and commitment to each other. Love is forever. And Phantom is loved. The White Dog Army, earthly and Rainbow Bridge brigades.

speedyrabbit said...

Phantom is still with even though he is gone,our love is with you too,xx Speedy and Rachel

Flynn said...

I haven't visited before and didn't know Phantom, but that hasn't stopped me from reading your tribute to your boy with tears streaming down my face. Like so many others, I know the heartbreak and real pain that reaches into you and feels that part of you has been wrenched out. My thoughts are with you at this saddest of times.

Vanessa Morgan said...

I just read the news about Phantom on Zoolatry. Sending lots of hugs your way, although I know they won't eliminate your heartbreak. Rest in peace, Phantom.

sandy l said...

I am sorry for your loss. Phantom is no longer in pain and I think he is now running free with Dakota and Thunder.

Marg said...

Oh Kathie, that was so kind of you to let us know what happened to Phantom at the end. You gave Phantom such a huge gift to let him go. He certainly was a strong boy through all that he had to go through and he was able to do that because you were right there for him. So I join everyone else with tears just flowing. Big hugs to you and Joe and Smoke send their very best Hee Haws.

Dawn said...

I was so sorry to read this. He was a great dog and we enjoyed when you all visited our blog. Thinking of you today...and in the days going forward.

Mark Muller said...

it's the hardest decision ever... and I wish I could do or write something what helps a little... but I sadly have just tears...tears for a wonderful pup and a wonderful friend. I will give Easy the biggest hug ever and I will remember that every day we have together is a gift...
easy rider

Priscilla Phang said...

It's tough and hard when time comes but Phantom was loved and he knew it well; he was so blessed to have you as his family and he was so well taken cared of. Phantom will be missed forever here. Please take care, hugs to you all.

CatInTheFridge said...

We can by to say we're so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. - Alana and Crepes.

Hannah and Lucy said...

We came over to say how sorry we are that your dear Phantom has passed over Rainbow Bridge. We didn't really know him but we do know just how much it hurts and how sad you feel knowing you will miss him so much.
Take care Kathie.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Quinn and Angel brandi said...

Lots of hugs for your loss. Phantom will be missed, but remember, he isn't leaving your heart....

Savannah's Paw Tracks said...

Kathie, you dear woman and your husband as well. Phantom was such a trooper. I know some say time heals a broken heart...but I cannot reassure you in that. My heart broke tragically when I lost each of my three Sibes...Rosie in July '93, Mischa in September '93 and Crusty in Feb '94. And I still have a small part of my heart that never quite healed. My Sibes' will always have that special place. We love Savvy and Sage dearly...and all the cats we had after our Sibes. But the Sibes will remain forever and always The Kids as all our friends, and us, called them. My thoughts are with you this holiday

haopee said...

Hi, Kathie. I heard the news from Ann. Phantom has had a long and rewarding life. He was blessed with a mom like you and a pack that's full of energy and adventurous mischief. I am sure he wags his tail across the rainbow bridge without those broken bones. Honestly, I think he would have preferred having Jell-o feet anyway. That's so he could slither his way towards your treat jar.

God bless your soul for taking care of him for so long, and finally giving the freedom at the right time.

Huggies and Cheese,

Haopee and the Pack

Jake of Florida said...

Dear Kathie, When I saw the title of your blog post, I knew it would not be good news. You gave him such loving and tender care in these final times, and the sound of his whimpers had to be so heartwrenching for you. Sending you love to help you deal with what has happened. As you say, we know from our sad experiences how hard it is. Just know the picture of Phantom with his endearing blue eyes and sweet look is forever engraved on so many of our hearts.

xxxx Joan, Just Harry, and Angel Jake

onespoiledcat said...

I too have been thinking about you and your family all day. I do know how heart-breaking and sad it is to lose a beloved family member but ALL of us have your back....we all loved Phantom's spirit which definitely lives on when you feel the wind beneath your wings..........

Love and Hugs, Pam (and Sam)

Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie said...

We are so saddened to read about Phantom.
May he run fast and free forever.
Molly, Taffy, Monty and Winnie

C.L.W.STEP said...

It's funny how you "just know" when the time comes. When Miss Ginger stopped singing by the dinner table, we knew it was time. When our old Charisma was getting worse and worse with her arthritis, she gave us that "look" we just knew. We are so sad for you but you did the right thing.

sprinkles said...

OMG, I was so shocked to read this post today! Phantom was always my favorite out of your group of Sibes. I'm not sure why, but it was just something about those beautiful blue eyes. I know deep in my heart that his time was limited, but this is still such a shock!

I'm so so sorry for your loss! Phantom was so well loved and cared for. You gave him a wonderful life. This post was a lovely tribute to him

I'd like to do a tribute of my own for him with Monday's post. May I "borrow" a few pictures of him for my blog?

Jans Funny Farm said...

We are always sad to learn of another loss. We know how the heart breaks. A warm hug, purrs and paw taps of comfort.

Rebekah Ward said...

I sit here in tears for you, my internet friend. Run free, sweet Phantom. He was blessed to have you, and you were blessed to have him. Hugs to you and yours, Kathie.

McGuffy Ann Morris said...

We are very sorry for your loss. Peace.

Ludo van Doggy said...

Oh, I just don't know what to say. I'm so sad for you. run free sweet Phantom.
I'm so glad you got to stick around for so long, Being with your mom and family who loved you so much.
We will miss you dearly.
*sniff *
Ludo, Arran and Mum

Frank The Tank said...

Phantom was just incredible, I loved him so much, seeing him on the blog always made me smile, hearing about his day was always nice and seeing all the woos in photos together made my heart melt, Phantom was such a handsome blue eyes beautiful boy, I am so sad to hear of his passing and you made the right decision, you filled his life with love from beginning to end and now he is at the rainbow bridge looking down on you all, with sparkling blue Angel wings, running free and happy with no pain, playing with Thunder and Dakota, all my love for you, your family and the Woos at this hard time, prayers for you and love from Momma Jemma and Frank, as an honorary Woo we feel like we have lost a brother too! XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Isabelle said...

Oh, Kathie, you are a wise one. I love what you wrote about time healing a broken heart, but the you wish it didn't have to break. It does, we all know that. I hope that you are able to take some solace in the fact that Phantom was up there in age for his breed. I did with Linguini, and it helped me tremendously. I also like to think of all our beloved pets, Phantom, Dakota, Thunder, Twinkie, Linguini, Nowood, and sooo many others, having a pawrty, jumping around… pain free, worry free, healthy and happy for eternity. I'm not sure where that place is exactly, but maybe it's in our hearts or our thoughts or our blogs. That's my happy place. I get to visit them all.
I'm hugging all my furries, in Phantom's and your honor. I wish for your pain to dissipate fast. My thought are with you. Isabelle (Twinkie's mom)

The Florida Furkids said...

We've got leaky eyes again....we're so sad that Phantom had to go to the Bridge but he was a super fighter and we know you did the right thing. Phantom was loved and he knew it.

(((Hugs)))
The Florida Furkids and Mom Sharo

Oskar said...

Oskar and I have been out of the blogging scene, but hearing about Phantom's passing really broke our heart.

We are sending all of our prayers & love.

Hugs,
Pam, Oskar and Olive

Misaki @ misadventuresofMisaki said...

Wiping tears away as I write this. I bet Phantom is running and playing with his brother and sister over the bridge xxxx

NanaNor's said...

Kathie, I knew last week that you had set your Phantom free, but just now seeing this update. Tears are making their way down my cheeks; it is just so darn hard to let them go. However, I truly believe when it is their time, they say thank you for loving them enough to let them go. I know Phantom loved you so very much, it is so evident and he is thankful that you loved him so much that you didn't make him suffer. Sending all my love to you.
Noreen

YD, sometimes with ♥June and ♥Angel Samantha said...

Dear Kathie,
I'm sobbing as I read your post about Phantom. I have been away from the blog world for so long but for some reason tonight I thought of you and the OP Pack so I stopped by and found out about your loss. It's never easy to set our loved ones free no matter how prepared you are. My heart ache for you...
Rest in peace Phantom.

Hugs,
YD and June

Jenna,Mark Drady said...

Oh Kathie, I balled my eyes out reading this. I am just so so very sorry

CreekHiker / HollysFolly said...

Just heartbreaking to read of Phantom's last days. What a special boy who blessed your life for a decade and a half. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss.

Arno Vom Altvilstal said...

Dear Kathie,
I wasn't active for so long and I missed this terrible news.I read it only today and I feel so sorry for you, for your tremendous loss! We miss him very much and I was really shocked as I saw he was gone. Truly he had a very long and doubtless wonderful life with your family. He was a very lucky dog. And you were lucky to have had him on your side for so many amazing years. The hole he left must be huge, the pain you feel must be terrible, the love he left with you is indescribable.
We send you all our love and wish you strength. Many months has gone since that day, but I think it's not far away enough.
He'll be always in our hearts

Arno and Silvia